Writer's Fear

I have writer’s fear. It’s not really a “block” because I don’t have any difficulty writing on here or writing long e-mails to friends overseas or writing in general. But when I sit down to write a scholastic paper, everything flies out the window. Everything. Every thought I have about the subject, every bit of information I’ve compiled, how to form simple sentences–I forget it all. I suppose it’s because I put so much pressure on myself, especially the paper I’m working on right now, and I need to relax and just type out what I’m thinking at the moment, but it’s hard when certain things decide certain future events–honors thesis, grad school, research, etc.

I’m trying to write about post-structural thought and Deleuze and Guattari’s theory of becoming-animal in regards to Samuel Beckett’s novels–Molloy, Malone Dies, and The Unnameable–in Trilogy. And I’m two measly pages into a twenty page paper. Great. I guess that’s 10% at least…

I love the subject of becoming-animal (but not necessarily Beckett’s novels, not going to lie), and I’ve been thinking about it constantly for the past two months, but actually putting down the hodge-podge of fragments and images and connections is harder than you’d think.

And I want to do this for the rest of my life? Am I nuts?

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Comments
One Response to “Writer's Fear”
  1. DaviMack says:

    It matters too much that you succeed? Yeah – know the feeling all too well, and am unfortunately looking at 2 10-page papers, a 3-hour essay exam, and 1 50-page paper … all between now & September. You’ll be well and truly done … and that’s the beauty of the American system, rather than this crazy thing called British Education.

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